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12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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