Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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