Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
