i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize