I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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