I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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