i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
