Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
