wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
