Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
