He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
