i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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