Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
