no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
