When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
