could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
