Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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