you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
