Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
