she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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