Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
