Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
