she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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