does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
