my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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