Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize