JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im holly from the hills drunk
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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