How'd it feel making her break her religion?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
