legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
