I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
