Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
