He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize