i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
