no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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