omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
