She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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