i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
