I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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