I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
