Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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