SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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