what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
