Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There r osticjed everywhere
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
