Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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