Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
