So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
