Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
