Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
either way he was missing a nipple.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
