I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
