so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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