I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
