I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
