Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
