its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize