Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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