I'm gonna have a badass scar
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
