The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize