Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I still have a little drunk in my system
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
