i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
