We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
