just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
