whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
