Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
