her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
