bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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