And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
