Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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