Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am one with the molecules
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
