Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
