we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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