I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
