he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
