I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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