32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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