Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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